It's a beautiful day here in sunny, Arizona. Mainly because it's not sunny. The temps are in the 70's and it's overcast here (a rarity). And as I sit out on my back porch watching my son play oustide I think to myself...it's too quiet. Well, aside from my neighbor's annoying dog who won't shut up. And I hear my son laugh and I start thinking. It's a beautiful day and there isn't another child outside laughing and playing. It's just the two of us (and that dog). And a sense of sadness overwhelms me. I start thinking about all the kids on our block. There are at least 8 around my son's age(too young for school). And then I am reminded that they are all in daycare.
Now what I am about to write will piss some of you off and that's fine. Just stop reading. It's my blog and I will write what I want.
All of the families that I know of with kids my son's age are married and we live a pretty nice neighborhood. Now I am not saying we live in mansions, have a housekeeper named Lupe, or should have reality shows about us but the majority are driving new cars, going on fancy vacations, have boats or other fun toys, have new homes with pools (and maybe even some pool boys). And I can't help but wonder why are all these moms are out working 8-10 hour days when they have little ones at home. I could easily see a single mother or a family with a tight bugdet having both parents working. And to be honest I don't know their financial situation. But I do know that new $35k car or a boat (there are no fishermen here) sitting in their driveway is not a necessity.
Who do so many of us feel like we have something to prove? When did a fancy car become more important than digging in the dirt with our kids? Hold on, I have to help him down the slide.
Ok, I am back. Now where was I?
I guess I just look at life differently and up until we moved here thought I was the norm. My son is 2.5 and those 2.5 years went by so fast. And they will just continue to fly by. If not having a BMW or my hair done every week means I get to stay at home with my son then that's ok...for me.
I find myself drawn to movies about the sixties. You know when families used to sit down to eat together. When the kids in the neighborhood would play while the women would chat inside as they prepared dinner. Dad would come home and the kids would run to great him. (and maybe I just long for other mom friends in my position) Are you following me here?
Not all of you know this but there was a time when I did go back to work full time. My husband was away for training for months and so it was just me and my baby (well, he was 1 but he'll always be my baby). He went into daycare. And I was picky about the daycare. It was a home daycare and it cost more but that didn't matter beause it was my son. I worked for 3 months. Turns out there isn't enough money in the world to compare to mom being at home. My son was miserable. I was miserable. You will only know this feeling if you have experienced it yourself but the worst thing is walking out of a room while your child is screaming for you. All you want to do is swoop them up in your arms and run. As if it were that easy. Not only did my relationship with my son suffer but I was so tired all the time. I woke up at 5:30 am every morning to get ready before he woke up. I finally got home around 6:30 every night. Who wants to have to clean house or cook after a long day like that? Everything in my life suffered. I quit. It just wasn't worth it. And I was lucky enough to be able to quit. A lot like some of the moms that I was talking about earlier. The extra income meant nicer things and more vacations...but at what cost?
I just don't get it. I know as stay at home moms we don't get the glory we deserve but we are the glue that holds our families together. At this point in my life I could really care less if someone doesn't consider this a 'job' because at the end of the day my son, husband, and I are happy. And when you take away the fancy cars and pool boys that's all that matters, right?
I have included a picture of my goofball (or my inspiration to be the mom I am). He was filling in for Bob the Builder and needed a lunch break. If I was working right now I would have missed that cheesy smile.
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Mom O Matic had this to say:
I think some moms work for their sanity as much as for their cash. It's unique to everyone. But I do agree that if it's a matter of forgoing the maid to become a SAHM for the love of Pete do it. Whether it's mom or dad, it will go FAST!
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Unknown had this to say:
haha...i am laughing now cause this is just well so not you!! your usually up to your ears in confusion and mayham and this is the post of your dreams!!
we both know that if there was a perfect WOH job that was flexible that we loved, that paid just right we would take it but of course that doesn't exist unless you own your own company...then you could still bring the kid to work!
it is a connundrum that parents that work a ton to afford the "niceties" of life don't have the time to enjoy them but oh well. i will have plenty of time to work after the kids are grown. i am really likeing that i started so early! a.) the kids will be grown and i will only be 40 and b.) if i worked out of the home i wouldn't bring in enough income to matter so theres never been a debate about it! haha.-
thailandchani had this to say:
Found you through MILF and at the risk of earning the ire of many readers, I agree with you. While I understand that not all have the freedom to make the choice to stay home, I fully support the idea that those who can, should. Not meaning to rant here as I'd probably be preaching to the choir ~ so I'll just say "right on!"
Peac,e
~Chani-
Chicky had this to say:
LOVE the cheesy grin!! I love being home, and I wish it was easier for more moms who wanted to do so.
PS-feel free to take the HHC button from my site for yours, if you know how...if not let mem know, and I will send you the code for it!
